Is the internet making people more, or less intelligent?

I feel like it could work both ways.

For instance, I can imagine that the continuos and unrelenting misuse of the word “you’re” has caused people to believe that its misuse is in fact the proper way to say it. I also can imagine that by shortening internet speak over email’s and im’s, kids aren’t learning proper grammar and are left unprepared for college, or dare I say it, the real world. I have peer reviewed some college level essays that made me want to stab my eyes so the knife could hit my brain, just to make sure that it was still there.

At the same time, the amount of information on the internet is so overwhelming it is almost like the internet is not a series of tubes and is in fact an “information super highway”. Although 50 percent of that information is probably porn, the other 50 percent could contribute to one’s acquisition of knowledge much better than a library card could. I know that if I met myself from a world without internet, I’d think I was a n00b.

I am back from the abyss and to everyone who has been biting their nails for the past 8 months in fervent anticipation, I will bring things back to the board with my insight on the most important issue to ever grace the modern age.

The shitty sandwich maker at your local sandwich establishment

Everyone has one, and everyone dreads the moment that they realize their sandwich is about to be made by one. Here are a few clear signs that the person making your sandwich is a shit:

1. The sandwich has a list of explicit ingredients and they still ask you what should go on it.

2. They put the ingredients on in a manner that could only be purposeful in its absolute chaos.

3. They make sure that whatever ingredient makes the sandwich taste best is included sparingly.

4. They neglect to cut the sandwich in half unless you ask them.

5. The sandwich doesn’t have a set list of ingredients, but the sandwich maker puts ingredients on in the process of asking you if you want them on.

6. all of these rules can be applied to shitty chipotle burrito makers as well.

Until next time.

But I love busting melodic nuts all over my fretboard to hear some eargasmic cheeseball shredding by me from my bands upcoming album, click on this link

Disappear Solo

I dont seem to remember the last time I had a nightmare, I dream of a lot of fucked up things, I had a dream the other day that everyone was a talking slice of pie that could only recite the number pi, unfortunately their pi was not the 3.14 followed by endless other numbers that I was raised upon but instead 3.139 followed by the endless other numbers. Doesn’t seem like a nightmare to you, imagine being in france and everyone is speaking french and you are speaking english but they say that they are speaking english and you are speaking french. THATS ENOUGH TO BLOW YOUR MIND. Sounds like a nightmare to me.
Speakin of blowin and dreams.
I dream of jeannie. suckin my caaack.

Is there a right way to do it?

What if you recieve a compliment and you cant be charitable and give the compliment giver a compliment?

Can you disagree with a compliment?

Do you seem cocky when you say “I know” after said compliment?

I don’t think I take compliments very well, I think its because these are the thoughts that run through my head after recieving one.

I was talking with someone who wanted to change their middle name so I compiled a list of middle names that I would love to have for the sake of saying “________ is my middle name”.

Danger
Adventure
Comedy
Rockandroll
Speed
MiddleName
Noise
Power
Awesome
Radical
Tubular
Delicious

Think about it, “isnt that dangerous?” “danger is my middle name………no srsly, it is”

What do fat people say when they are excited? is it something like “I’d jump through hoops if I could jump and if I could fit through a hoop”

Do bees actually have knees? and if so why are they so cool?

If spontaneous combustion were real, it may be kind of cool to spontaneously combust because for a brief moment before you burn to death, you will be the hottest person alive.

I think its retarded that whenever someone reads poetry they call it emo, I could tell an 18 year old girl with a “mightier than thou” musical taste that I wrote a song and show her the lyrics to “it’s ok ma’ I’m only bleeding” by bob dylan and say I wrote it, she’d call it emo.

People magazine chose drew barrymore as its most beautiful person, I WASN’T CRAZY.

There was a song about the human race being an actual race, HOW CLEVER!

I am really nice, but an asshole
I am really poor, for a rich kid
I eat solidified grease, but I’m not fat
I am a musician, but my favorite music is punk rock
I hate hate, but I hate a lot of things
I hate being social, but I love talking to people
I love to sleep, but its hard for me to do
I hate when you complain to me, but I love to complain to you.

Why cant you party without brocolli? everytime you eat that fucking brocolli you just get dumber. It makes me sick and when you snort cauliflower. I feel bad for you when you smoke baby carrots. But worst of all; everytime you put steamed vegetables in a bag and you huff that shit, you kill your brain cells. WHY CANT WE JUST HAVE A WORLD WITHOUT VEGETABLES!?

You tell me I make no difference. AT LEAST I’M FUCKING TRYING! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?