I am back from the abyss and to everyone who has been biting their nails for the past 8 months in fervent anticipation, I will bring things back to the board with my insight on the most important issue to ever grace the modern age.

The shitty sandwich maker at your local sandwich establishment

Everyone has one, and everyone dreads the moment that they realize their sandwich is about to be made by one. Here are a few clear signs that the person making your sandwich is a shit:

1. The sandwich has a list of explicit ingredients and they still ask you what should go on it.

2. They put the ingredients on in a manner that could only be purposeful in its absolute chaos.

3. They make sure that whatever ingredient makes the sandwich taste best is included sparingly.

4. They neglect to cut the sandwich in half unless you ask them.

5. The sandwich doesn’t have a set list of ingredients, but the sandwich maker puts ingredients on in the process of asking you if you want them on.

6. all of these rules can be applied to shitty chipotle burrito makers as well.

Until next time.